There was a time, not too long ago when I could watch gore filled screens with ease, think up horrifying scenes of torture and bloodshed filled with both sinister overtones and wryly twisted humor for novels and short stories. Then a strange and wondrous thing happened. I got pregnant. All of a sudden I could no longer stomach any type of violence, not even PG TV-show violence. If there were children involved with the story I couldn't even listen to the voice track. This was a strange feeling for me, seeing as how my library is well stocked with horror novels and I am a certified monster aficionado. Luckily, since the baby was born these aversions had diminished somewhat, and I haven't had to totally change my reading habits , but I have had to alter my movie viewing preferences as I still cannot stand watching modern R-rated horror. Thank goodness PG-13 can still be terrifying without the gore, though, so I still get my fill of adrenalin filled, heart-thumping good times.
The unfortunate thing, though, is that I am still struggling with overcoming my reluctance to go back into that darker place in my mind where evil lurks and fills pages with my twisted imaginings. Every time I try to go there I find myself thinking of my little girl, and wondering if a mommy who writes these terrifying things won't somehow affect a change in their child. After all, people always tell you to surround yourself with positive thoughts and energy if you want to evoke positive changes in your life, so what happens if mommy spends hours a day immersed in thoughts of darkness? Do you invite negativity in?
This is my current quandary and source of writer's block. I have ideas for stories floating in my head that I really want to put down on paper, but I keep stumbling and struggling with my fear of returning to those dark corners of the mind to find the motivations and desires of my characters. Is there a solution to this problem? I imagine there probably is, but for the moment I will just keep free writing and chipping away at this block, until I find a place where being a mother and being a writer of horror fiction can come to some compromise.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Hitting up flea markets abroad
Guest post written by Kathryn Winston
I love to go to flea markets while I'm at home a lot and actually get a lot of things for my home there. But I also make sure to do the same thing while I'm travelling. You can find some really interesting things at other flea markets far from home.
It's kind of funny to see how the stuff sold at flea markets varies by area. Before I went on a recent trip to Europe this summer, I used my Clear Kitsap to look up some really good, tourist-friendly flea markets abroad. I came up with all kinds of info and made sure to set aside time in our schedule for going to flea markets.
I went to this one particular Paris flea market that I just loved. I found all kinds of amazing things there and wished that I could buy alot of the home furnishings there. But you can't put a bookcase in a suitcase to fly home. It unfortunately doesn't work that way. However, I did get some great costume jewelry there.
I love to go to flea markets while I'm at home a lot and actually get a lot of things for my home there. But I also make sure to do the same thing while I'm travelling. You can find some really interesting things at other flea markets far from home.
It's kind of funny to see how the stuff sold at flea markets varies by area. Before I went on a recent trip to Europe this summer, I used my Clear Kitsap to look up some really good, tourist-friendly flea markets abroad. I came up with all kinds of info and made sure to set aside time in our schedule for going to flea markets.
I went to this one particular Paris flea market that I just loved. I found all kinds of amazing things there and wished that I could buy alot of the home furnishings there. But you can't put a bookcase in a suitcase to fly home. It unfortunately doesn't work that way. However, I did get some great costume jewelry there.
Cooking 101
I love to cook, and I have ever since I was little. I locked my grandmother out of the house and spread cornflakes all over the place in one of my earliest culinary experiments. Since then I have learned from various sources, my grandmother, my mother, friends, relatives, a job as a short order cook, another as a caterer, cookbooks, cooking shows, etceterras. So I always figured that one day, when I had kids of my own I would teach them to cook too. After all, the kitchen is the heart of the home for a reason. Who knew that my foray into teaching the next generation would actually also be a lesson in overcoming stereotypes, for me.
I have two stepchildren that are now in their teens (one in college) and an 18 month old baby, so I have had numerous opportunities over the years to share my culinary expertise with the younger peeps in my life. Unfortunatly, up until now, I always assumed that it would be my stepdaughter that would glean the most from our time cooking together so I offered more opportunities to her in the kitchen than to her younger brother. Little did I know that he was watching, paying attention, and gaining an interest in the culinary arts from a distance, particularly anything to do with baking. I think, for him, it started with a cake competition for cub scouts.
My husband was supposed to be the one to help our boy with his cake that day, but dad had football to watch, so his solution was to make a simple cake and frost it...done. Oh NO, said I, no way. To me that was a total cop-out, how could a simple frosting coated cake ever hope to catch anyone's attention? So I took hold of the reins and created a campground scene complete with a camfire, campers, popcorn ball pine trees, and bears hiding in the woods. Needless to say the cake earned a ribbon, got gobbled up quicker than you could say, "and the award goes to," and our boy was so infatuated with the cake that he demanded we take multiple pictures of it. I was pleased to be able to help him create something he was so proud of, especially since we only get to see the stepkids on every other Holiday, occasionall on long weekends, and a week or so over the summer.
Eventually I would come to find that our son was in the habit of baking on his own pretty often. Mostly he made cookies, but as we know, those are a standard of dessert deliciousness! I also learned that he was infatuated with the show Cake Boss on TLC. So, imagine my surprise when on Spring Break he and his sister came to visit and when asked what he wanted to do over his break he tells me, "I want to try making Marshmallow Fondant." Ok, I say, we can do that! After all, we had the perfect occasion for a fondant covered cake, his sisters' birthdays are close together so we were planning on having a party for the two of them. So together we made a red velvet cake, and I showed him how to make real buttercream frosting. I did not know how to make the marshmallow fondant, so our boy showed me how. He had learned from watching cooking shows, but had never had the opportunity to try it. He did a bang-up job, and even made a couple colors and used cookie cutters to cut out stars. The cake was very pretty, and it tasted yummy.
I learned that day that I should have been more unilateral in the opportunities I provided to my kids. My stepson has turned out to be the one who enjoys cooking and crafting and doing things creatively, whereas his sister is the one who has grown up loving math and science and could care less about cooking or making things. We have no idea, just looking at our kids, what they will be inspired by, so why not offer them everything, discourage them from nothing (unless it's dangerous), and encourage their every dream. You never know, they just might teach you something!
I have two stepchildren that are now in their teens (one in college) and an 18 month old baby, so I have had numerous opportunities over the years to share my culinary expertise with the younger peeps in my life. Unfortunatly, up until now, I always assumed that it would be my stepdaughter that would glean the most from our time cooking together so I offered more opportunities to her in the kitchen than to her younger brother. Little did I know that he was watching, paying attention, and gaining an interest in the culinary arts from a distance, particularly anything to do with baking. I think, for him, it started with a cake competition for cub scouts.
My husband was supposed to be the one to help our boy with his cake that day, but dad had football to watch, so his solution was to make a simple cake and frost it...done. Oh NO, said I, no way. To me that was a total cop-out, how could a simple frosting coated cake ever hope to catch anyone's attention? So I took hold of the reins and created a campground scene complete with a camfire, campers, popcorn ball pine trees, and bears hiding in the woods. Needless to say the cake earned a ribbon, got gobbled up quicker than you could say, "and the award goes to," and our boy was so infatuated with the cake that he demanded we take multiple pictures of it. I was pleased to be able to help him create something he was so proud of, especially since we only get to see the stepkids on every other Holiday, occasionall on long weekends, and a week or so over the summer.
Eventually I would come to find that our son was in the habit of baking on his own pretty often. Mostly he made cookies, but as we know, those are a standard of dessert deliciousness! I also learned that he was infatuated with the show Cake Boss on TLC. So, imagine my surprise when on Spring Break he and his sister came to visit and when asked what he wanted to do over his break he tells me, "I want to try making Marshmallow Fondant." Ok, I say, we can do that! After all, we had the perfect occasion for a fondant covered cake, his sisters' birthdays are close together so we were planning on having a party for the two of them. So together we made a red velvet cake, and I showed him how to make real buttercream frosting. I did not know how to make the marshmallow fondant, so our boy showed me how. He had learned from watching cooking shows, but had never had the opportunity to try it. He did a bang-up job, and even made a couple colors and used cookie cutters to cut out stars. The cake was very pretty, and it tasted yummy.
I learned that day that I should have been more unilateral in the opportunities I provided to my kids. My stepson has turned out to be the one who enjoys cooking and crafting and doing things creatively, whereas his sister is the one who has grown up loving math and science and could care less about cooking or making things. We have no idea, just looking at our kids, what they will be inspired by, so why not offer them everything, discourage them from nothing (unless it's dangerous), and encourage their every dream. You never know, they just might teach you something!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Get thee to the Vortices
You wake up every morning to the same routine. You stare at the alarm clock and think, really, I couldn't have at least slept until the alarm actually went off? Then you lie there trying to force yourself back into sleep, but you know your sweet little angel or angels will start to stir at any moment and more often than not that means your ears are about to be assaulted with baby wailing. Ugh, not again. Is this what life has become? An endless cycle of sleepless nights, listening to your partner sleeping soundly beside you as you try to catch a few moments of REM sleep between the sweet sounds of their snoring and your baby's sobbing? You find yourself going through the motions more and more automatically; shuffle to the bathroom, pee, wash hands, brush teeth, sigh disgustedly at your reflection and opt for a pony tail again, grab a marginally clean pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt out of a random pile, shuffle into baby's room, coo at baby, change baby's diaper, dress baby as if he or she is going to a talent show, feed baby. Wash, rinse, repeat. Somewhere in the night, I am not sure which night, you lost yourself and became the mombot.
Fortunately for most of us, though, there is a way to reverse the mombot transformation and regain some of our former fabulousness. While some may need a major intervention ala What Not To Wear, I have found that you don't need Stacy and Clinton to pop out of a closet and steal all your clothes to help you find yourself again. You will need either a supportive and understanding partner or a friend or relative who is willing to help out. Why you ask? Because what you really need is TIME AWAY! What? That's allowed? YES! Most emphatically, YES! While there is a lot to be said for a couple's retreat for the beleaguered parents to get away, I firmly believe that mom's bear the brunt of the emotional and physical care of the children in most cases (I do admit there are always exceptions to this rule), and need time to get away BY THEMSELVES.
Unfortunately this is extremely hard for many caregivers to do for many reasons. We feel guilty for leaving our children behind, because we are afraid they will feel abandoned. We feel guilty for leaving our partner alone with what we know is a heavy burden of taking care of the kids. We worry what other people will think about us for leaving our kids alone at home while we go off to have fun. We worry that something could go wrong while we are away. Most of all, though, we worry that no one else will be able to take care of our babies as competently as we do. We have to remind ourselves, though, that in order to keep being good, competent caregivers to our children we first must take care of ourselves and make sure our heads are in the game. We owe it to ourselves, our partners, and our children to make sure we do this, because otherwise we may find ourselves turning into evil mombots.
One way I love to recharge is to go someplace for the weekend, or even for an overnight trip. I like to pick someplace close to home so I feel like I can get back if there is an emergency. Once I took a 24 hour vacation and stayed at a Casino Hotel, had dinner at a swanky restaurant, gambled a little, had a few drinks, walked around, and had room service and spa treatments the next day! The ultimate for me, though, is a weekend getaway to Sedona, Arizona. This area is supposed to be filled with mystical energy and vortexes of healing power. I don't know if there is any scientific evidence to back the energy claims, but I do know that when I am there I feel such a deep sense of peace that I feel instantly recharged. There is also a sweet little coffe shop with an amazing view of Oak Creek Canyon that sells Harney and Sons teas that make me so happy because they are sold in little silk sachets and just feel extra special.
Find places and opportunities like these near you, doing things you love to do for short Mommy-Getaways. Believe me, you not only deserve them, you need them! In fact, your family will probably thank you for it since you won't be nearly as scary.
Fortunately for most of us, though, there is a way to reverse the mombot transformation and regain some of our former fabulousness. While some may need a major intervention ala What Not To Wear, I have found that you don't need Stacy and Clinton to pop out of a closet and steal all your clothes to help you find yourself again. You will need either a supportive and understanding partner or a friend or relative who is willing to help out. Why you ask? Because what you really need is TIME AWAY! What? That's allowed? YES! Most emphatically, YES! While there is a lot to be said for a couple's retreat for the beleaguered parents to get away, I firmly believe that mom's bear the brunt of the emotional and physical care of the children in most cases (I do admit there are always exceptions to this rule), and need time to get away BY THEMSELVES.
Unfortunately this is extremely hard for many caregivers to do for many reasons. We feel guilty for leaving our children behind, because we are afraid they will feel abandoned. We feel guilty for leaving our partner alone with what we know is a heavy burden of taking care of the kids. We worry what other people will think about us for leaving our kids alone at home while we go off to have fun. We worry that something could go wrong while we are away. Most of all, though, we worry that no one else will be able to take care of our babies as competently as we do. We have to remind ourselves, though, that in order to keep being good, competent caregivers to our children we first must take care of ourselves and make sure our heads are in the game. We owe it to ourselves, our partners, and our children to make sure we do this, because otherwise we may find ourselves turning into evil mombots.
One way I love to recharge is to go someplace for the weekend, or even for an overnight trip. I like to pick someplace close to home so I feel like I can get back if there is an emergency. Once I took a 24 hour vacation and stayed at a Casino Hotel, had dinner at a swanky restaurant, gambled a little, had a few drinks, walked around, and had room service and spa treatments the next day! The ultimate for me, though, is a weekend getaway to Sedona, Arizona. This area is supposed to be filled with mystical energy and vortexes of healing power. I don't know if there is any scientific evidence to back the energy claims, but I do know that when I am there I feel such a deep sense of peace that I feel instantly recharged. There is also a sweet little coffe shop with an amazing view of Oak Creek Canyon that sells Harney and Sons teas that make me so happy because they are sold in little silk sachets and just feel extra special.
Find places and opportunities like these near you, doing things you love to do for short Mommy-Getaways. Believe me, you not only deserve them, you need them! In fact, your family will probably thank you for it since you won't be nearly as scary.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Forget Chuck E. Cheese...There's a New Sherrif in Town
Maybe there is something intrinsically wrong with me, but even as a child I never really cared for Chuck E. Cheese's little menagerie of mechanized mayhem. Granted that may very well have stemmed from the fact that we could never afford to play many of the games, which made the entire experience rather pointless seeing as how the food they provide there is about as flavorful as a grease smeared piece of cardboard. So, I warned my daughter, in-utero, that I would rather be dragged slowly across a cheese grater than host a birthday party at Chuck's den for demon children. But, really, what other options does a parent have for entertaining the younger crowd? Not many, you say? Well, you are wrong! Thank goodness!
Luckily for you and me there are ingenious people who have realized that places like Chuck E. Cheese's are torture pavilions that serve as monetary vacuums for your average family and now there are other options. For example there are indoor bounce zones where kids can jump around on trampolines until they are exhausted, small local shops that specialize in "fantasy" parties where kids can play dress up, be rock stars, have tea parties or whatever, but all of this pales in comparison to the ultimate gift to both parents and tots: Max Brenner.
If you are lucky enough to live in a city that has a Max Brenner chocolatier/restaurant you are in for a treat! All I really need to tell you about Max Brenner is that his restaurant is about CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE! I know right? Where's the bad? The kids' menu items include things like "Escaping Pasta Robes with a Self Vanishing potion of tomato sauce" and "Melting Marshmallow Crepes" and desserts like "The First Chocolate Burger in the Whole Universe"! I had a blast just reading the kids' menu. Then there are the great, scientifically inspired serving items, icluding chocolate sauce filled syringes and beakers of hot chocolate! But if this is all sounding a bit too syrupy sweet for your adult taste buds, never fear, Mr. Brenner has provided an amazing menu of savory dishes to act as the perfect counterpoint to your overindulgences in his sweet temptations.
Granted this little outing to Max Brenner is not exactly going to be easy on the budget, but if you keep the party small and order smartly you can easily enjoy Max Brenner's on the same budget as a much less gourmet experience at a place like Mr. Cheese's. My recommendation would be to peruse the online menus before you go and have a plan for ordering before you get to the restaurant. Also, you should know that there is nothing on this menu that can be eaten by one person in one sitting, unless that person has the appetite of a Sumo Wrestler, so order family style!
Http://www.maxbrenner.com
Luckily for you and me there are ingenious people who have realized that places like Chuck E. Cheese's are torture pavilions that serve as monetary vacuums for your average family and now there are other options. For example there are indoor bounce zones where kids can jump around on trampolines until they are exhausted, small local shops that specialize in "fantasy" parties where kids can play dress up, be rock stars, have tea parties or whatever, but all of this pales in comparison to the ultimate gift to both parents and tots: Max Brenner.
If you are lucky enough to live in a city that has a Max Brenner chocolatier/restaurant you are in for a treat! All I really need to tell you about Max Brenner is that his restaurant is about CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE! I know right? Where's the bad? The kids' menu items include things like "Escaping Pasta Robes with a Self Vanishing potion of tomato sauce" and "Melting Marshmallow Crepes" and desserts like "The First Chocolate Burger in the Whole Universe"! I had a blast just reading the kids' menu. Then there are the great, scientifically inspired serving items, icluding chocolate sauce filled syringes and beakers of hot chocolate! But if this is all sounding a bit too syrupy sweet for your adult taste buds, never fear, Mr. Brenner has provided an amazing menu of savory dishes to act as the perfect counterpoint to your overindulgences in his sweet temptations.
Granted this little outing to Max Brenner is not exactly going to be easy on the budget, but if you keep the party small and order smartly you can easily enjoy Max Brenner's on the same budget as a much less gourmet experience at a place like Mr. Cheese's. My recommendation would be to peruse the online menus before you go and have a plan for ordering before you get to the restaurant. Also, you should know that there is nothing on this menu that can be eaten by one person in one sitting, unless that person has the appetite of a Sumo Wrestler, so order family style!
Http://www.maxbrenner.com
Sunday, September 25, 2011
The Road To Hell
We read the books, the parenting magazines, the websites filled with the opinions of innumerable child psychologists and "experts" and we tell ourselves we will do everything they tell us to do for our little princes and princesses. After all, we don't want to screw up our kids the way our parents screwed us up, right? We drive down the road and scowl at those parents who have the DVD players running 24 hours a day in their mini vans and scoff at their clear neglect of their childrens' developing mental capacities. Until, that is, our child suddenly learns how to employ the most sinister sort of emotional blackmail known to mankind; the tantrum. Kicking, screaming, writhing, tortured agony that can clearly only be resolved by an hour's worth of brainless Disney movie indoctrination, and we cave don't we? Of course we do, we are human, and there is only so much choked sobbing, and snot dripping angst that any one good-intentioned parent can handle.
How, then, do we mitigate the damage? Great question, and so far the best answer I can come up with is to be sure to pick movies that have characters you approve of. If, for example, you have an impressionable young girl-child and you don't want her to grow up sighing like Scarlet O'Hara and thinking that a woman's only recourse in times of strife is to find a rich man to save her then you don't put in Sleeping Beauty or Snow White. Instead try a movie with a strong, smart female character like Rapunzel in Tangled or Tianna in the Princess and the Frog, a couple girls who spend just as much time rescuing the boys as the boys spend getting into trouble!
How, then, do we mitigate the damage? Great question, and so far the best answer I can come up with is to be sure to pick movies that have characters you approve of. If, for example, you have an impressionable young girl-child and you don't want her to grow up sighing like Scarlet O'Hara and thinking that a woman's only recourse in times of strife is to find a rich man to save her then you don't put in Sleeping Beauty or Snow White. Instead try a movie with a strong, smart female character like Rapunzel in Tangled or Tianna in the Princess and the Frog, a couple girls who spend just as much time rescuing the boys as the boys spend getting into trouble!
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